Farron Really is the Best

As you all know I have been really struggling with work and even going. Yesterday I struggled a bit in the morning and was really nervous about going, but I went. And when Farron arrived home he had a dozen beautiful roses for me, just for going to work! Is he the sweetest or what????

Farron's the Best

This week-end was absolutely fabulous. Farron and I packed up and headed to Lake Louise. We stopped in Canmore and Banff along the way. We also stopped at a few other places and had the chance to visit Lake Morraine.

The feeling of being surrounded by mountains is absolutely amazing!!!! It just makes all your troubles drift away and you are able to focus on nature and all it's beauty. The air was so fresh and a bit chilling but it all felt so good. Just being able to drive, talk, walk, and spend a night in a hotel with Farron for the week-end was so nice.

Working is really getting to me, I just hate being away from Farron, and home and not being able to have the time or energy to do all the things I want. Growing up really isn't as fun as I thought it would be. It seems as though one has to work really hard to get what they want, yet once you get the things you want it's hard to enjoy because you have to work all the time. I really want to be at home all the time, I want to be able to get up stress free and just go about the house duties. I want to be able to bake and cook and clean and shop and just take care of everything without having the hassel of work tying me down. There I go I just ruined a perfectly good post by complaining about all the things I want but can not have.

Anxiety Be Gone

I usually sit here alone for 20 minutes before work and have this huge wave of....well I was going to say anxiety but I am not sure that is it. My stomach feels all weird, I start to miss Farron (even though he's only been gone an hour), miss my parents, and all my friends, I usually tear up (which I am doing now), and just wish I could stay home all day.

It's the worst feeling in the world and I can not shake it. Yesterday was the worst I cried myself to sleep and cried all morning before and after Farron left. I threw up twice and called my parents bauling!!! I am such a huge baby. And I just wish I didn't feel this way.

I truely madly deeply want to stay home, be a stay at home wife. I have started to like doing the wifey duties like coooking supers, packing lunches, seeing FArron off to work in the morning, ironing, washing clothes, cleaning, vaccuming, etc... I just really wish a miracle would happen so that I wouldn't have to work outside the home.

I always thought I wanted to be a career woman. Turns out I don't. But I guess it's too late now, with all my debt. Please just pray that I will be okay....

My Auntie

For me right now one of the sweetest sounds is hearing one of nephews or nieces say Auntie Jana. It makes me feel really special, knowing that there are little people who actually love me and spending time with me. And I wanted to dedicate this post to one of my aunties.

My aunt diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. She's currently in the hospital and experiencing quite a bit of pain. It's inoperable, so there isn't a lot they can do for her. Being so far away I don't have the opportunity to visit with her. This has its advantages though, I don't have to see her in pain and can remember her before she was sick.

Growing up, I got to see my Aunt atleast a few times a week, mostly at church. I use to always look forward to her hugs. They were so comforting and when she hugged me I felt like nothing else in the world mattered.

Every Christmas after opening our gifts and having breakfast we'd pile in the car and go to her house. She always had the coolest gifts, her house was just covered in so many cute ornaments, pictures, and decorations. I loved going to her house, it was always so warm and inviting.

She's a really amazing cook too. Her bread and rolls are so yummy!!! She always had nice sweets on hand and could always muster up a fest when company just surprised her with a visit. Her house is where a lot of my Dad's family gather and reminice.

We travelled to Ontario together and shared some adventures, getting lost in Montreal, taking the long way home from New Brunswick, and going to see the Blue Jays!

I love my Auntie and hope that my nieces and nephews will think half as much of me as I think of her.

Loss for Words

I don't really have anything to say. Just felt like posting for the sake of posting..........

Terrified

I'm off to start my new job in 15 minutes and I am absolutely terrified!