Reader's Un-Digest

For the past week I have been doing really well on my 1200 cal diet. However, yesterday I had a cheat as well as the day before. So I decided to stay in and work off the garlicy finger goodness lastnight, while Farron went out to a party. Well as time for the party approached him and his friend twisted my arm, till it almost fell off, and I decided to go. I mean after all folks lets be real I am not getting any younger. So we crashed a party of people I didn't know and after a few drinks and me hailing a cab, in fine New York manner, it was off to down town. Waiting in line for the bank machine I noted a vending machine and of course wanted a snack, I mean why not I had already had one cheat might as well blow it all. Well luckily I had no money, but I did note that if I would had some change I could have purchased 3 ink pens, not even in a pack just masking tape around the bottom, 2 blue and 1 black for $3.00!!!! So I guess my point here is who goes to a bar with the need of purchasing pens???? Anyways, as the night progressed I realized for a number of reasons I had not had enough to drink to be at a bar and the reasons are as follows:
1. I did not buy any over priced drinks at the bar which would be all of them
2. I didn't get lost
3. I didn't dance (well try to, since Farron informs me I can't dance, I guess it's due to lack of rhythm which I missed out on as a child and now this growth has stunted)
4. I heard the phrase "I got all my shots last week" and thought is that a new pick up line? And if so does it actually work? Gross!
5. I strongly wanted to inform a guy not to even talk to a girl that he was, but restraint myself
6. I saw a guy and girl making out and knew in the morning he'd be regretting it
7. I saw a small, bald, relatively geeky looking 35ish year old dancing on the dance floor and I realized he might get lucky
8. I checked myself out in the full length bathroom mirror and was disappointed, who sees themselves in a bar mirror and one can actually see themselves in full form and two not think they are attractive???
9. At one point I was standing there by myself, someone in the distance dropped a drink and the liquid landed on my bare toes. I was mortified, and actually REMEMBER making the disgusted face I make and I had a scene from House/CSI go through my head where they show the poison/bullet entering the body, the path it takes and the infection it creates. And well all I could think was I just cut my toenails, what if there is an open wound and the person drinking that drink has some weird infectious or even not so weird infectious disease. Maybe it was the girl who got her shots, then I'd be safe!!!
10. On the way out I had to go down a flight of stairs. And well I was wearing my "awww" sandals from a few posts back. Well those shoes went from aww to ahhh really quickly. I slipped and fell down the flight of stairs, in front of a lot of people. So you are probably thinking well you fell so maybe you did have enough to drink. Oh contrair mon frere, I actually slipped due to the horrid shoes, and to make matters worst it hurt sooo bad I was a blubbering idot, one girl stopped and rubbed my back asking if I was okay, and another one did the same thing and KISSED me!!!!! Very concerned these girls were.
10. I remember everything that happened lastnight.

All in all I had a great time out with the guys and can't wait to do it again. Hanging out with guys is so much fun. I love being able to be myself without thinking am I fatter than her? Is she flirting with him? Why is she looking at my hair? Etc.... But I must say the last little while hanging out with my really good girl friends I never had any of these thoughts, so I guess maybe with age girls become just as good as guys. Or maybe us women stop being so self-conscious???