Almost Forgot

This week-end Farron and I also treated ourselves to a movie. We went and watched "Pan's Labyrinth"!!! It was a really good movie. It's been forever since I've been to the theatre and to be honest I wasn't looking forward to seeing this movie, since I'm not to into fantasy and by to I mean not at all. But from the get go it got and kept my attention. The main character was an amazing little actress, as were all the characters actually, that's probably why they were in the movie to begin with. And I think having the subtitles actually made me like the movie more for some reason. And now I am terrified of the Father, he was so cruel and it is so sad to think that some men are actually like him. I also really liked this movie because it really wasn't predictable, and for a fantasy movie there was a lot of gore and a little too many horses for my liking, lol. I really do not like movies with horses, space, or futuristic type stuff in them. I am so weird and I have no idea why I do not like these things I just don't and I can not read a book that contains any of these three either. Oh well my options aren't too limited.

Cranium, Scene It?

This week-end was a lot of fun. We had some friend's over for supper. Farron made his famous donairs, incredible sauce, and spectacular pepperoni pizza. It was better then take out. Then we enjoyed a few games. Cranium to start with, this was my first time playing and it was so fun. I love it and can't wait to have people over to play it again. Our friend's kicked mine and Farrons butts. So then we decided to play Scene it, which is a fun game too but we weren't as good at this one the game dragged on a bit.

Farron's creation of sardines from the Cranium clay, I guessed wrong!!!!

Cranium Player's @ their best
Post Game Shot

Rock Lobsta

Well I hate to admit it but Spring Break is almost over. It's soo sad, I can not believe it went by so fast and I pretty much did nothing. Although over the past week I found a few deals I am proud of
@ the Superstore I got a sweater/jacket for $2.94 it was $24!!!
@ Coles I got three books for $9.94 they were over $100.00!!!
@ The Gap I got a pair of long and lean jeans (that actually fit) for $59.00 and they were $79.00!!!
And then yesterday Farron's Dad and GF came up for a visit and brought us 17 live lobsters!!! So we enjoyed some yummy creamed lobsters for lunch and have six bags in the freezer.
This week has been full of relaxation yet I am still on edge due to the thought of returning back to school. Oh well only a few months left and it will all be over.
I kind of wish I would have done more this break, but hind sight is 20/20 I guess.
Tonight Sherri and Ed are coming over for supper, so I am excited aboout that. Hopefully I'll have some pics to post later on.

Betrayal

In grade 10 -11 I started writing a bit, a lot of little poems and non-sense and lately I've been feeling the spark again. It's nothing special, but it comes from my heart. I sometimes find it easier to write what I feel in poems, it allows me to get out what I want, I know what I am saying even though others might not get it. It allows me to voice my feelings her for the public while at the same time holding the targets to myself,giving the reader a little mystery, lol. Here's a little ditty about recent events in my life.

My heart is broken in a million little pieces
The thought of you right now makes my stomach turn
We've been through so much, the good and the bad
But this bad sadly may be the end

I had no idea you could treat me this bad
I really thought we had a special connection
I thought I would be there for you and you for me
Once again my big ideas have turned out so wrong

Is this really happening? Are you turning on me?
Why can you not atleast tell me the truth
Why can't you see how you are hurting me
Maybe blinded by love I guess, wearing rose colored glasses

I only hope you wake up before it's all gone
Sadly enough I think you've made up your mind
You've always lived for others never for yourself
Open your eyes, stand on your own, and decide for yourself

I wish I could talk to you, tell you how I feel
I don't want to hurt you or make you feel bad
Decisions I have made may have to be changed
Look at me and tell me the truth



And no this isn't about Farron and I!!!

Severly Disappointed

I'm really upset right now!!!! I can't go into details but I am very very hurt. I thought something was going to happen and it didn't. I'm kind of in shock actually. I hate being me, everytime I think something good is going to happen it never does. I always seem to end up getting the wrong end of the stick. I am so sick of this I think I am just going to become a hermit, that way I won't have any expectations which means I can never get hurt again....
I'm so emo. Oh well. This is my blog I can be emo

Shattered Dreams

The Hype in my Head never comes true
I end up just pushing my way through
My smiling eyes and glowing heart
Don't last long, they're blown apart

Why bother to dream at all?
It just means another fall
The news is always rejected
No matter how I project it

I might as well smile and agree
I know they'll never hear the real me
Just ask what they want to tell
Act as though you're under their spell

How can I live like this?
Walk in their Bliss?
I'll be safe and just pretend
Pretend until the very end......

Songs, Songs, Songs

Wedding plans are well under way. The guest list has been made, the colors picked(they are perfect!!!), invitations chosen (they are fabulous), tuxes found (sexiest tux ever), and bride's maid dresses sort of decided (they are cute but I'm not getting the gut feeling with them yet). I found a stumbling block when it comes to choosing wedding songs. Farron and I don't have any "songs" and I'm just not sure how to go about finding the right ones. I'm not really a music listening girl myself and Farron's not really a love song listening guy so I guess we're both sort of in the dark on this topic. And the love songs I have looked at are all so cliche. I want something that feels right and represents us not all those crappy songs that say the same generalized crap "You're my everything", "We were meant to be", "My true love", etc...I mean we are getting married so all these things just go without saying...atleast that's how I feel.
Any song suggestiong would be greatly appreciated!!!!

Tired of getting Fatter

Lately all I seem to be doing is filling my face with sweets and watching my belly expand. This has to stop, there has to be an end put to this maddness. I crave junk food 24/7 and it is driving me crazy. In the last 6 months I think I have posted atleast twice about how this is the changing day in my life, how I'm going to lose weight, eat right, and feel great. Well it hasn't happened yet and I'm not sure it will, but each day I want it more and more and I am just hoping that one day I will wake up and be ready to begin my new life. As of date that has yet to happen, and maybe it never will. Just seeing the mess I have become brings tears to my eyes. I won't even weigh myself, I'm so scared of the scale. All I know is that my knees are growing fat, you can squeeze my back, and I now HATE clothes shopping. I get really really sad looking at old pics from highschool and just wish I could be smaller again. I feel guilty that since Farron and I have been together I have gained so much weight. I just wish I had the determination I had back then. All my life I have been the fat girl, I have always felt out of place, and never good enough. Just for once in my life I would like to be able to wear a bathing suit without feeling soooo uncomfortable, I'd like to be able to sit down without worrying about my roll hanging over my pants. I would love to never have to think about any of this again. I hate how society places so much emphasize on weight and looks, yet here I am falling right into their little trap. I see the magazines, I watch tv, and I hear people talk. If you're overweight people notice, if you gain weight they talk behind your back. I hate society I hate feeling incompetent because I'm not a size 2. I hate feeling that if my ribs, hip, and collar bones don't stick out I'm not worthy. I hate feeling like a reject because I like gummies and chocolate. I hate taking everything people say to me the wrong way. I hate hating myself. In all honesty I don't know if I will ever be able to love myself. From the beginning of grade 10 to the end of my first year of university I battled a lot with my weight and other issues. I lost a significant amount of weight and even then I wasn't happy with me. I still didn't feel small enough. How small would I have to be to love myself??? This is so unreal how can I be measuring my self worth from a scale? Life is so wrong!!!

Dip, Roses, and Photo Shoots

1. This summer I was introduced to spinach dip. It is soo good spread on a bagette!!! But this is the reason you shouldn't eat it in public.














2. Yesterday I came home from school to roses, a homemade card that read as follows: "You won my Heart" and on the inside "Now win the lottery" and there was a lottery ticket on the inside. It was so sweet.

3. There are very few pics of Farron and I that actually look good so tonight I thought I'd take a few randoms....needless to say they did not turn out....

Happy Love Day, Farron!!

Make an online slideshow at onetruemedia.com

What will they come up with Next

Tonight Farron and I were in Walmart in search of some Valentine treats (I'll post later about out day once I take some pics) and I stumbled upon the most disturbing product....disposable underwear!!! That's right underwear, you wear once then throw them away. What kind of society are we in that we can't wear clothes and wash them anymore? Apparently now we buy clothes wear them once then throw them away. Say goodbye to your washer and dryer no need. Yay I no longer need to save quarters for laundry...but wait I need to say 20 dollar bills for new clothes!!!! I just can not believe someone is making money off of this and number 2 I can't believe people are actually buying them, in my opinon it is one step away from a diaper. So I have decided to make a list of some of my favorite rediculous sales items I've seen
1. Frozen pb&j sandwhiches(without the crust I must add)
2. Laser teeth whitening kit
3. The backless strapless bra? How does that work?
4. Panties with butt pads
5. Shoulder pads
6. Spray on panty ho

Busy as a Beaver

Farron, I, and our tableclinic display

This week has been and will continue to be one of the busiest I've had in a while. Yesterday I was at school 'til 9pm. Today I had a teaching presentation am home for a bit then have a meeting at 6. Then tomorrow I have clinic, group meeting, then another meeting for another project in the evening. On thursday I have and IPL module, and finally on friday I get to do some restorative work...then then it's SPRING BREAK!!!!! I can not wait a week to do absolutely nothing, I am so looking forward to it I can harly wait.
I had quite the week-end too. I went out saturday night for a friends b-day. We had a great time dancing to a really cool band The Boys Next Door. But I almost didn't go out. I decided to go shopping for a new outfit to help me feel better. So out we went in search of something cute. Well as usual I found nothing. Every shirt I tried on with buttons wouldn't go around my chest without bulging, as the sizes go up the shirt gets bigger everywhere except the bust. It makes me so angry. I didn't even realize my boobs were that big,where do girls with really big chests shop? I gave up, I had it!!! I was so upset that I couldn't find anything. Everything I put on made me fell huge and jeans just weren't working for me. I've realized I really dislike clothes shopping...REALLY DISLIKE!!! Anyway, it's over and done with I still had a good time in my old shirt, lol.
I love you Far and I'm sorry about my shopping fiasco!!!

What's Wrong with Dal?

So I am a full-time university student, encuring approx. $12, 000 worth of loans annually, over 3/4 of which is used to pay my tuition. I pay this in hopes of getting an optimal education. It was also my expectation that I would be provided with clientel needed to successfully complete my clinical program. And providing I did well with my academic course work, then graduating on time or at all would not be an issue. I guess I assumed a some what prestigious university was required to provide paying students with what they are working so hard at obtaining, diplomas. However, it would appear that not only is the paying student required to call all of their patients, the school has ran out of patients and now the students are asked to find their own, or sit idle and wait for more people to join the clinic pool. And finding restorative patients well they all but exist. Well guess what I am so tired of this. I seriously can not comprehend how this institution is licensed to provide this diploma program. If I knew what I know now I never would have applied or accepted a place at this university. So far it has been the second worse experience of my life. And I would never recommend it to another person as long as I live. In my opionon this school is a scam. "Hello Ms. Foster you have just won a trip for four to Las Vagas, all you have to do is give me your credit card number. " We can spot that scam from a mile away. Well the next time you get a letter in the mail stating "You've just been accepted into Dalhousie's School of Dentistry Dental Hygiene Program. All you have to is give us 16 000 dollars." Ask yourself what is it they will do for you. And soon the answer will be quite clear: NOTHING. What's Dal good for? Absolutely nothing!!!! I normally am not a hateful person but thanks to Dal I now am. I am not satisfied with the wording of this entry but I think you get the point.

The Big to Doo

Tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my life. From 2-8ish I will be presenting a glorified science fair project! I spent a couple hours today rehearsing and getting all my shakes out. It was rediculous how nervous I was. My hands were trembling, I was getting my mords wixed up (little inside joke), and my mind was racing. I detest oral presentations and am not looking forward to tomorrow at all. I have been instructed to eat bananas, the potassium is suppose to help the shaking, cross your fingers that it will work for me.
On the way home Farron and I stopped to the mall and I decided to change my doo. So I got my hair chopped off.......okay not really, I just wanted to make it look like I did. I really just got it trimmed, bangs added and a few new layers, lol.


And a big thanks to Farr for getting my belly in this picture. Oh by the way the whole healthier lifestyle thing, not so good, I did eat the chocolate cake and still have yet to exercise. I guess I'm just not motivated enough yet, which is actually really sad.

Little Miss Sunshine

After a great deal of anticipation I curled up lastnight, for what I thought was going to be a comedy film with one of my favorite actors (Steve Carell). Well,well, well wasn't I surprised. I didn't laugh out loud once! I was devasted I wanted a good belly laugh, I feel like I have been misled. How can there be a movie with Steve Carell and it not be funny? I mean there was the odd moment I laughed in my head but no outsies. Steve Carell barely said 5 words, and the words he did say he kept repeating. Then there was the whole pushing the van thing which got very boring after the 19th time. And the horn problem was just plain annoying. I even cried at one point. Cried but no laughs. This being said it wasn't a bad movie(I know I'm crazy) it just wasn't what I was expecting. The actors/actresses were all great and seemed really believable. The moral of the story was a good one and I like that fact that the ending wasn't really predictable. I also liked the fact that the actors weren't your typical Hollywood people. Maybe if I hadn't have watched the movie alone I would have laughed out loud, lol. So I guess my opinon would be if you haven't seen the movie you should, just don't expect too much, and watch it with a friend.

Changing Day

I have decided that today is the first day of the rest of my life, lol. Anyways, this morning as I was going about my day I had this brainwave. And what I decided was to give myself a time limit on my daily internet use. So starting today, well tomorrow since I am already over the limit for today, I will only be permitted to spend 1/2 an hour on here. I just got to thinking about how I do absolutely nothing all day long except school, then I come home and spend the night on here trying to avoid my problems. So I figure if I start spending less time on here and watching t.v I will have more time for myself and can start doing new or old things that I enjoy, such as reading, sewing, talking on the phone to friends, taking long baths, etc...
Also today while in the shower I had brainwave number 2, wow 2 in one day!!! This brainwave consisted of the thought that I really really need to become healthier, lose weight, and get into shape. This being said I have set a couple goals to get me going:
1. No food consumption after 7 pm
2. 30 minutes of exercise atleast 5 times a week
3. No more skipping breakfast!!!
I am aiming to lose a total of 25 - 30 pounds, Christmas wasn't good to me this year, well actually maybe too good. So I really need to get these extra punds off, hopefully in time for grad pictures. I've posted about this before on my blog and everytime something happens and I fall off the wagon before I even get on. But hopefully this time my mind is set enough to get through this and over the first hill...not eating the yummy chocolate cake in my kitchen.
I'll keep you all posted. And hopefully I'll have some good results by the end of the month. Sometimes I feel defeated before I even start, thinking there is no way I can lose this weight, it's a waste of time, etc...but then I get to thinking about all the people who lose 100's of pounds they had to start somewhere and so do I and this is it!

Wedding, wedding, wedding

Ever since I was a little girl I've always wanted a huge wedding. Not necessarily expensive, but big in the sense that everyone I know would be there. Well lately Farron and I have been talking about having the big day in Disney with immediate family, and friends. Since Disney is so far away it will be very difficult for a lot of people to come due to money, travel, and work. This saddens me as well as my parents, they to want a big wedding with lots of people/family too. I love my parents to death, they are the greatest parents in the world, they would do anything for me and are always bending over backwards to make me happy. I'm the baby so I was somewhat spoiled and allowed to do a lot of things at younger ages than my sibblings. They raised me in a Christian home and I still feel guity for the way I have turned out, not following their path. Sorry I kind of got off track...what I am trying to say is that I want to make everyone happy, I'm not sure that is possible but I think I have come up with a compromise. We will get married in Disney and those who can make it can make. Then for our 1st anniversary we will fly home and have a big reception/anniversary party. That way everyone who missed the wedding can be there for our first anniversary together.