Misery

This year I have had the pleasure of meeting the meanest girl to walk to face of the earth. She thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread and lets everyone know it. She gets pleasure from belittling everyone around her...she thinks the world owes her and no one can ever be good enough or even come close to ever pleasing her. The reason I am writing this is because I find it so sad that there are people like this in the world, people whose lives are so miserable they have to take there unhappiness out on everyone who gets in their path and make them feel completely inadequate.
Latley, I have been full of complaints and have been somewhat unhappy. And now I am feeling very sorry for the people who have had to put up with listening to me go on and on about how horrible my life is. I must have been such a downer to them. So from now on I am going to try really hard to not complain about school or miserable people in my life.

Be Still My Heart

I was looking at a picture of Farron and I tonight and my heart almost stopped for awhile as I realized just how lucky I am. Farron is in love with me, not Hilary Duff, not Brittany Spears, and not Anna Kournikova but me! I am so lucky to have a man in my life who truly cares about me and my happiness. He is always going out of his way to make sure I am happy and has always been supportive in all of my decisions. I aggrevate him to death about getting engaged and am always on his back about calling certain people, yet he still loves me. I am loved and it feels so good, yet I often take it for granted and tonight I realized that.

I Miss Summer

I was looking through some pictures today and realize how much I miss summer. I'd love to go back to July, not for the heat and for the sunshine, but for the stress free lifestyle. This summer was great I got to spend all my time with Farron, we even got to work together which was great, I wouldn't have survived at that job without him. I got to go to Calgary and see my brother and meet his new wife. Our whole family was actually able to get together for the first time in about 3 years. We were able to go site seeing together and spend hours talking about nothing, it was great. And not here I sit with the stress of studying resting on my shoulders....ahh I don't want to study... I've tried and tried but I seriously can not study!!! I wan July back....

Answered Prayers

Okay so the weeks are passing by faster and faster, which is a good thing I guess. But I just feel like things are going by so quickly I can't catch up and never will. I feel like clinic is just rushing past me and I need to grab on but there is no chance of holding on long enough...
That being said this week in school actually wasn't too bad. Monday I finished two patients which was a huge success, however I had a breakdown at home monday morning. This is how it went, I was dreading school soo much and really really was comptemplating rather or not I would be returning. After about an hour of tears and reassurance from dear old Farron I was out the door. I was so upset, because I hate the feeling I get about clinic and doing this for the rest of my life. I just worry way too much about everything and am scared I will drive myself crazy. Anyway, off to school I went and saw my first patient at 2:00 and was able to complete them, yay!!! I was way too nervous to eat after that, because I had a new patient coming in in the evening so no food for me. By this time I had developed a migraine and was doing all I could not to up chuck. So 6 o'clock comes I meet my new patient and to my surprise finish him in one appointment!!! This was amazing for me, because it usually takes 3-4 appointments for me to finish some people. So by now my mood has changed and I've decided that maybe this hygiene thing isn't that bad. However, it's now 9 o'clock at night and I have yet to eat, my head is still pounding and I manage to get in the house just in time to throw up!!! Gross....Oh well at least it made me feel better. Then wednesday comes along and I am able to finish another patient, which was another huge success for me because last year it took me 3 appointments to complete the same patient.
Monday before school, I had decided that is I had a bad day in clinic I would not be going back, that was it I would be done and I would find some other way to support myself. And it turns out I had the best day I have ever had in clinic. My mom is always praying for me, I think God heard her prayer and gave me a helping hand on monday. Thanks Mom!!

E-mail forward

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
>>>
>>> Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to
>>> my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of
>>> characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically
>>> comes up with a suggestion.
>>>
>>> "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of
>>> toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."
>>>
>>> Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand
>>> in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
>>>
>>> "How long will this take?" I asked
>>>
>>> They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
>>>
>>> I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper
>>> between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the
>>> years?"
>>>
>>> Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
>>>
>>> He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk
>>> again. Stupid, stupid man.

Ratna

I am experiencing the confused state of Ratna, feeling as though I am not being enough. I just sometimes sit here and wonder why I was put here, what my true calling is. I feel as though I am not doing what I am suppose to be doing. I just feel so unsatisfied with dental hygiene...I try telling myself it's more than it is. I mean I want to make a difference, I want to be doing something that influences people's lives. I would love to work with the underprivileged, set up a home for the homeless, organize paid afterschool care for children of single working parents, work with troubled youth, work with children with learning disorders, help kids and teens with psychological problems, etc...So why am I here? Because I don't know where else to go.
Tomorrow could be my breaking point, I have two clients booked and have no idea what I am doing...
Oh well enough complaining for one night!!!

The Fab Four

I stole this from one of Twyla's links page

1. Four Jobs I have had:
Housekeeper at the Holiday Inn
Security Guard with Securitas Canada
Cashier as Langille's
Transcriber/Coder at Dalhousie University

2. Four movies I could watch over and over
Happy Gilmore
Neapolean Dynamite
Ralphie's Christmas
Shrek

3. Four places I have lived:
Halifax
Port La Tour
Clark's Harbour
Stoney Island

4. Four t.v. shows I love to watch
Roseanne
Family Guy
Any game show
House

5. Four places I have been on vacation
Vacation? what's that???
Calgary
camping
PEI
Toronto

6. Four of my fav. dishes
Spaghetti and meatballs
Chicken parmesan
Baked salmon
Pizza :)

7. Four websites I visit daily
http://lostinthebattle.blogspot.com
www.dal.ca
www.thehawkroad.com
www.hi5.com

8. Four places I'd rather be right now
Bed
Mom and Dad's
Heaven
My sister's house

My "Girls"

This afternoon I decided to take a break from studying. I put Roseanne in the DVD player (best tv show of all times) and set down to enjoy my lunch. I took a bite of my very hot onion rings and a crum fell downmy shirt, right between the two girls, creating a burning sensation! Sometimes being a woman really sucks. I hate bras, back pain, underwire, and sore breasts. Oh to be a man....

Thanksgiving

I had the opportunity to spend the last two days with my family. Holding my nephew for the first time was so amazing...he is so tiny and so adorable, he has the cutest, roundest, little face ever. Playing outside with my niece and nephews was muchly needed. They are such sweet kids and I love them to death, they say the funniest things and I am so lucky to have them in my life. Kids have a funny way of making all your troubles seem miles away. They have the ability to make you smile when you really feel like crying. Today at dinner my nephew said he was thankful for Love, I agree with him I to am thankful for love.

Again

Well I had a bad day again, the most horrible one yet. I seriously don't know if I can make it.

Oral Sex

I have this professor who is 75+, she has the cutest accent ever, and is always saying something funny. Well today she decided to warn us about oral sex, yes that is right oral sex. We were talking about the herpes virus' and she felt the need to tell us to watch where we put our tongues, with today's sexual acts she said it is important to look first, if we see anything say no, and get out of there!

100 Things I Love

1.Chocolate

2.Shoes

3.Gummies

4.Shopaholic books

5.Blankets!!!

6.Cuddles

7.Goodnight kisses

8.Roseanne(best show ever)

9.Swimming

10.Finding the perfect pair of jeans

11.My little black dress

12.Sewing

13.Talking on the phone

14.Millenium Scholarships

15.Homemade pasta and sauce

16.Dreaming about being rich

17.Hitting balls at the driving range

18.Singing in the shower

19.Christmas

20.Colorful socks

21.Potted plants

22.The smell of Axe body spray

23.Naps

24.Painted nails

25.Baking

26.Shopping

27.Sirens

28.Fantasing about my wedding

29.Meatball subs

30.Rain storms

31.Little doggies

32.The zoo

33.Roller coasters

34.System of a Down

35.The C-Train

36.Fireworks

37.BBqs

38.Camping

39.Canoeing (sp.?)

40.Lilacs

41.Daisies

42.Mirrors

43.Small cars ( mini coop)

44.The smell of popcorn

45.Board games

46.Watching spelling bees J

47.Reading blogs

48.Pictures

49.The smell of babies

50.Walmart

51.RW&Co.

52.Gossip

53.Upper Clements Park

54.The color pink

55.Diet Coke

56.Writing

57.Sandals

58.Flying

59.Yearbooks

60.Visiting home

61.Laughing out loud

62.Seeing old couples, they are so sweet

63.Babies

64.Tongue twisters

65.Mittens

66.Flannel ‘Jammies

67.Homemade jam

68.Spending time with my niece and nephews

69.Sleep wrinkles

70.Dollarama

71.Seinfield

72.Making scrubs

73.Getting letters in the mail

74.Birthday parties

75.Bowling

76.Window shopping at the jewelry store

78.Carving pumpkins

79.Parades

80.Going to the Fort in PLT

81.Cooking with Farr

82.Warm clothes fresh out of the dryer

83. The smell of clothes from the ling

84.Shopping with my Mom

85.Running errands with Dad

86.Woodstove heat

87.Watching sad movies

88.Having a good cry

89.Hot hot showers

90.My brothers, sister and their families

91.The Office

92.Rainbows

93.Purses

94.Seeing Farron smile

94. Hearing him laugh out loud

95.MSN

96.Girly skirts

97.Funky pens

98.Picking out baby names

99.Summer nights

100. My baby, I love you the most!!!

One more thing

http://vanderbiltowc.wellsource.com/dh_images/content524_washhands.gif


Okay so while I am ranting I might as well add that this whole clinic thing is turning me into a total germ freak. Everytime I touch anything I have to wash my hands, they are so dry and chapped and starting to hurt. When I put cream on them it seeps into the tiny cracks and stings alot. I am slowy going crazy!!!!

Defeat

http://cudental.creighton.edu/images/amalgam%20smooth.jpg
So today was a really bad day. It started out with being late for my first class (no wonder it starts at 8!), then the day preceeded to clinic. Well, today I had a rotation in a different clinic setting and found it really difficult to get my flow going resulting in the instructor basically doing all my work. Then I had a quick break to inhale lunch ( a tuna wrap..fishy). Next I spend 2 hours trying to learn how to do an amalgam restoration. So yeah after one try the profs except me to be able to do a near perfect amalgam filling on a human..it ain't happening!! I am just having trouble coping with the fact that I am in school for two years and after a 15 minute demo it is expected that I will be able to do sealants, amalgams, and composites..AHHH!!!

Inspiration

Okay so I was reading someone else's blog and became rather inspired to lose weight. I have this urge about once a week or so and it seems to always fade away faster than I even start.
This time I am truly going to try, and if I fail I will try, try again.
I am so tired of hating the way I look and feel, tired being self-conscious, tired of being fat! It's time I actually try and change, time I start taking care of myself, time I gain some self control. I know it is going to be an uphill battle with lots of obstacles in my way, but I can do it and I am going to do it, even if it kills me.
Here's a before pic, and I will post an updated one of my progress after Christmas

Laundry

Okay so today while doing laundry I forgot to check the pockets of my clinic coat which contained my glasses. My glasses ended up going through washer and dryer. They came out missing one arm and a screw, and they are totally bent. I hate doing laundry!!!!